A Revelation

For those that know me, I am honestly TIRED of fighting.... tired of dealing with my health, tired of dealing with everything life has given us lately. The past 2 weeks I have felt like given up. I have barely been outside of the house and I haven't wanted to even venture out. I didn't want to get out of bed and I didn't want to talk to anyone or even be bothered. I was just worn down. I stopped doing my Breaking Free study. I stopped praying. I stopped believing that God even cared about me at all!!! Then.... little by little.... over the past 2 days... the truth began to come through. The dimness began to get just a tiny bit lighter. Today, I prayed again and not only SHARED my load with God, but I finally let him take it off of me.

I realized today finally that I just cannot give up. No matter what happens, I have to keep fighting. My children are counting on me. It is my job as a parent to raise them in a godly home with love and raise them to have a personal relationship with God. It is not the Sunday School teacher's job. It is not my parents' job or responsibiity. While I didn't do what I was accused of, I haven't been doing what I should have either. I haven't been making sure that my kids know that above all, GOD is the priority. I haven't been making sure that my kids realize the importance of a PERSONAL relationship with God.... not just knowing ABOUT God but a PERSONAL relationship with God. I should make sure that our family takes EVERY opportunity to spend time together, to respect one another, because life is so short. We never know when we might not have those we love. I used to think my kids would be with us for SUCH a long time! Today, I thought in just 11 years my son will graduate from high school. He will go out into the world... by himself. 11 years isn't so long to prepare him for doing that... and honestly, it scares me. It was truly a sobering moment.

A lot of you know that my health hasn't been very good over the last year. On top of that, my memory has not been good either. Some of that is coming from my brain working overtime to be able to see due to my eye issues. Today, these verses popped in my head: the whole verse!

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.  My thoughts: this verse says I can do ALL things.... not some things, not most things, not a few things but ALL! I may not like what happens. Life may throw curveballs and it just isn't easy. However, through Christ, I can make it through. He died on the cross.... to carry me... to take away my sins and carry the weight of the world. I can ONLY make it through him and I haven't been letting him strengthen me lately.

I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.  My Thoughts: I always associated this verse with graduation and going out into the world. I now realize that isn't the case. God knows the plans for our entire life. He never wants to harm us. The bad things that happen..... that is ALL Satan's doing. God isn't doing it to us. He wants us to proper with life and pass over into our eternal life with him. He plans to give each and every one of us hope and a future. The word that stands out to me there is HOPE! I have a glimmer now of hope.

I am certaintly not perfect. I haven't always done everything right. However, by God's grace, I can be forgiven and move on. I will definetly make mistakes and there are days I am sure I will feel like not going on. I hope those are the times that God gives me strength and lifts up and my friends hold me accountable.