For those that know me, I am honestly TIRED of fighting.... tired of dealing with my health, tired of dealing with everything life has given us lately. The past 2 weeks I have felt like given up. I have barely been outside of the house and I haven't wanted to even venture out. I didn't want to get out of bed and I didn't want to talk to anyone or even be bothered. I was just worn down. I stopped doing my Breaking Free study. I stopped praying. I stopped believing that God even cared about me at all!!! Then.... little by little.... over the past 2 days... the truth began to come through. The dimness began to get just a tiny bit lighter. Today, I prayed again and not only SHARED my load with God, but I finally let him take it off of me.
I realized today finally that I just cannot give up. No matter what happens, I have to keep fighting. My children are counting on me. It is my job as a parent to raise them in a godly home with love and raise them to have a personal relationship with God. It is not the Sunday School teacher's job. It is not my parents' job or responsibiity. While I didn't do what I was accused of, I haven't been doing what I should have either. I haven't been making sure that my kids know that above all, GOD is the priority. I haven't been making sure that my kids realize the importance of a PERSONAL relationship with God.... not just knowing ABOUT God but a PERSONAL relationship with God. I should make sure that our family takes EVERY opportunity to spend time together, to respect one another, because life is so short. We never know when we might not have those we love. I used to think my kids would be with us for SUCH a long time! Today, I thought in just 11 years my son will graduate from high school. He will go out into the world... by himself. 11 years isn't so long to prepare him for doing that... and honestly, it scares me. It was truly a sobering moment.
A lot of you know that my health hasn't been very good over the last year. On top of that, my memory has not been good either. Some of that is coming from my brain working overtime to be able to see due to my eye issues. Today, these verses popped in my head: the whole verse!
I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. My thoughts: this verse says I can do ALL things.... not some things, not most things, not a few things but ALL! I may not like what happens. Life may throw curveballs and it just isn't easy. However, through Christ, I can make it through. He died on the cross.... to carry me... to take away my sins and carry the weight of the world. I can ONLY make it through him and I haven't been letting him strengthen me lately.
I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future. My Thoughts: I always associated this verse with graduation and going out into the world. I now realize that isn't the case. God knows the plans for our entire life. He never wants to harm us. The bad things that happen..... that is ALL Satan's doing. God isn't doing it to us. He wants us to proper with life and pass over into our eternal life with him. He plans to give each and every one of us hope and a future. The word that stands out to me there is HOPE! I have a glimmer now of hope.
I am certaintly not perfect. I haven't always done everything right. However, by God's grace, I can be forgiven and move on. I will definetly make mistakes and there are days I am sure I will feel like not going on. I hope those are the times that God gives me strength and lifts up and my friends hold me accountable.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Recent Updates
It has been over a year since I updated on here. I almost did not come back and write anything at all. The past year has been so hard on us all.... yet we have remained our good spirits with the kids and we have continued to find ways to have fun. Soooo..... I am going to work on going over the past year and updating on the fun things that we have done and the way the kids have learned and grown over the past year.
Recent updates..... AIDAN LOST HIS FIRST TOOTH!!!!! We kept waiting and waiting to see if he was even going to have loose teeth. When I was a child, I had NO loose teeth. I never was able to pull a tooth or have one to fall out. I really don't want my kids to have to go through having teeth pulled so I was hoping and praying! Aidan will be SEVEN in December so it is a bit late for his first tooth to fall out, but it DID!!! It is one of his 2 front teeth.
Aidan is in the 1st grade and he is in public school this year for hte first time ever. It was definetly a struggle in the beginning. However, he has mastered memorizing spelling words and has made over a 100 on 4 consecutive spelling tests. I am soooo proud of him!!! He got a prize for that in his class. He is getting extra help in Math, Reading and Writing. I am really pleased with his progress though. He is excited about his upcoming birthday and says that he wants to go bowling again and to eat at the Japanese restaurant Motos. Fine with me! Another fun day planned!!!!
Lillian, while still short, has began to thin out like a "big kid" now. I look her and I think she is so beautiful! She has really gotten a personality that reallyyyy resembles my personality as a pre-teen and teenager and even for a while after I was married. Lillian now talks ALL of the time!!! She is a lot of fun to talk to! She has now turned 5 since I last wrote on here. I will write more on that later!
JohnAlex is about to turn FOUR YEARS OLD!!!! He is having trouble deciding what he wants to do for his birthday! He has said the zoo. Then he said he wanted to go to bowling. Now he says he wants to go to the zoo and then bowling. lol Nice try JohnAlex! We are still deciding on that! It amazes me how much he looks like Lillian although his build is different. He is broader in the shoulders.
It amazes me everyday that they came from Trey and I and I try never to forget that God created them. Their determination and their ability to survive despite difficult circumstances just amazes me! People talk about how you can really tell they are siblings.... yet we got a good variation in personalities. Lillian loves to talk, but can be shy and doesn't like to try new things. She doesn't really like rides at amusement parks or sports. She does love to ride her bike and to do crafts and draw. JohnAlex LOVES all sports and he is really good at anything he tries sports wise! He is very athletic and has that type of build. He also is stubborn and determined. He also loves to talk and to sing. He and Lillian both love church and their Sunday School class. Aidan is my artistic child. He has always loved to draw and "do" things. He loves to fiddle and to take things apart. His favorite subject is Math and now Spelling. He isn't crazy about Reading. He also LOVES Science.
Now that is a long enough post for now.. over the next few days I will work on getting updates and pictures up!
Recent updates..... AIDAN LOST HIS FIRST TOOTH!!!!! We kept waiting and waiting to see if he was even going to have loose teeth. When I was a child, I had NO loose teeth. I never was able to pull a tooth or have one to fall out. I really don't want my kids to have to go through having teeth pulled so I was hoping and praying! Aidan will be SEVEN in December so it is a bit late for his first tooth to fall out, but it DID!!! It is one of his 2 front teeth.
Aidan is in the 1st grade and he is in public school this year for hte first time ever. It was definetly a struggle in the beginning. However, he has mastered memorizing spelling words and has made over a 100 on 4 consecutive spelling tests. I am soooo proud of him!!! He got a prize for that in his class. He is getting extra help in Math, Reading and Writing. I am really pleased with his progress though. He is excited about his upcoming birthday and says that he wants to go bowling again and to eat at the Japanese restaurant Motos. Fine with me! Another fun day planned!!!!
Lillian, while still short, has began to thin out like a "big kid" now. I look her and I think she is so beautiful! She has really gotten a personality that reallyyyy resembles my personality as a pre-teen and teenager and even for a while after I was married. Lillian now talks ALL of the time!!! She is a lot of fun to talk to! She has now turned 5 since I last wrote on here. I will write more on that later!
JohnAlex is about to turn FOUR YEARS OLD!!!! He is having trouble deciding what he wants to do for his birthday! He has said the zoo. Then he said he wanted to go to bowling. Now he says he wants to go to the zoo and then bowling. lol Nice try JohnAlex! We are still deciding on that! It amazes me how much he looks like Lillian although his build is different. He is broader in the shoulders.
It amazes me everyday that they came from Trey and I and I try never to forget that God created them. Their determination and their ability to survive despite difficult circumstances just amazes me! People talk about how you can really tell they are siblings.... yet we got a good variation in personalities. Lillian loves to talk, but can be shy and doesn't like to try new things. She doesn't really like rides at amusement parks or sports. She does love to ride her bike and to do crafts and draw. JohnAlex LOVES all sports and he is really good at anything he tries sports wise! He is very athletic and has that type of build. He also is stubborn and determined. He also loves to talk and to sing. He and Lillian both love church and their Sunday School class. Aidan is my artistic child. He has always loved to draw and "do" things. He loves to fiddle and to take things apart. His favorite subject is Math and now Spelling. He isn't crazy about Reading. He also LOVES Science.
Now that is a long enough post for now.. over the next few days I will work on getting updates and pictures up!
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